Shedding Skin

"The snake that cannot shed its skin perishes. So do the spirits who are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be spirit." - Friedrich Nietzsche

It will come as a surprise to no one that I have spent a lot of time over the past 15 months looking at photos of Maisa. I always knew how drawn she was to animals and how much she loved being in nature, but even as her mother I have learned more things about her in retrospect by scrutinizing some of these photos. This is part of how she continues to teach me, even in Spirit. How was she so skilled at catching lizards, even at a young age? I don’t have this many photos of my boys with lizards in their hands. How did she know how to catch and hold snakes? I never taught her. It’s almost as if she intuitively knew how to communicate with animals and nature.

In looking through photos of our trip to Disney World, the happiest place on Earth, the juxtaposition of the two photos below really struck me. The first photo is in the Magic Kingdom, the second is at our hotel. Look at her face in both of the photos. In the first, where she is holding a giant lollipop, she doesn’t look happy. Knowing what I know about autism and sensory sensitivities now, I understand. She was in a crowded park with lots of noise, lights and smells, wearing a costume that may have been itchy; she was likely completely overstimulated and had no idea why she was feeling that way. Her end-of-the-day meltdowns on that trip now make perfect sense.

Now, contrast the Magic Kingdom photo with the one of her at the hotel holding a lizard that she caught. She is in a more quiet environment, engaged with nature, away from crowds, artificial lights, strange food smells and noise. The look on her face is one of pure joy. I thought I was doing something special by taking her to see Mickey Mouse, but I think perhaps she would have been happier chasing an actual mouse.

Magic Kingdom v. In her element with a lizard she caught

In addition to lizards, Maisa loved catching spiders, any kind of bug and snakes. How she knew to hold the snake correctly, I have no idea. She must have been born with this knowledge, along with a lot of other innate wisdom. One of her favorite camping activities was trying to find and catch river snakes.

In the Chinese zodiac calendar, this year is the Year of the Wood Snake, so I have been thinking about snakes, shedding skin, and transformation. The snake has significant spiritual symbolism, including the embodiment of life force energy that we can connect with more fully when we let go of the things that no longer serve us. Like the snake shedding its skin, when we can release the things that we have outgrown, we can connect both with our inner wisdom as well as a greater collective consciousness.

“Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.” Buddha

For many people, including many autistic people, Disney World is a very happy and joyful place. The commercial aspect, crowds and sensory overwhelm, however, can take any of us away from our truest nature. The wood snake reminds us to turn back inwards towards our truest selves, to remember who we are, without the costumes, without the characters. When we do that, we might find some things that we have been avoiding, some things that we have outgrown, and perhaps some skin to shed so that we might make room for something new. Transformation isn’t always pretty or comfortable; in fact it is sometimes downright scary. I think this is why many people are afraid of snakes. Releasing that fear helps carve the path to connection, both with our intuition and with each other. It isn’t easy, but it is hopefully worth it.