Space Time
The Eclipse of Our Lives
Since this is Maisa Space after all, I feel like we should talk a little bit more about Maisa and space. To say that Maisa loves and loved space and stars is a complete understatement1. She loved looking at the night sky, preferably one that was dark enough to see the celestial light. I wrote a bit about our Moab trip (below) where we had the most amazing guided astronomy tour.
As any good seafarer, Maisa would uncannily know where the constellations were at different times of the year, and at what time of night they might be visible. She was tied to these celestial bodies in a way that is impossible to explain. She just knows things, but from where she learned them is a mystery. I reckon, that we are all just space dust with insatiable curiosities, that are somehow carbon latices for our soul and consciousness2.
I really want to tell some stories about Maisa. There are so many stories, and so many stories I want to hear. But I will write in the future about some of these. One of which will be about our last camping trip that we took, about the aliens and UFO’s that inhabit the Nevada skies, about biodomes, eclipses, space, lizards and love. That story will have to wait. But one part is relevant to this story. At the camp spot in Nevada, there happened to serendipitously be an astrophotographer.
The photographer had recommended a smart telescope that was meant to be a Christmas present for Maisa. It was very difficult to unbox that kit, but when the April eclipse came, I felt compelled to set it up and learn how to use it. I tried to provide some commentary while using the eclipse. (Warning!) these jokes are not funny and might permanently damage your humorous. I have added footnotes to explain even more why the comments are esoteric and not funny.
April 8, 2024 Eclipse
There is a little black spot on the sun today3.
"The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light". For some we are going to be without a teacher for a spell4.
We are getting a sunday on a moonday5
Wonder how many times total eclipse of the heart is going to played today6.
Who wins?
or7
When ellipses collide with eclairs, a phenomena called an eclipse is created. Fodder for community notes8.
Remember staring directly at the sun is a good way to look at things from someone else's perspective. Dumb persons and then eventually blind persons9.
I find that trying to take time lapse videos, really collides with ADHD tendencies10.
Few know that a total eclipse is the perfect time to yeet something into the sun. It can't see it coming11.
Unfortunately Idaho is not in path of totality. Though some say it is totality awesome12.
I think the sun spot and other sun pox are safe from this entropy. But if you handle the sun, you should probably use protective gloves13.
Answer this poll. If not for Maisa, then for the sun.
Some believe that at totality, David Koresh can be seen on the other side trying to stop the sun from moving anymore14.
The Mayans had deep understanding of the spiritually enormity of solar eclipses. They even used dragon glass to stare at the sun without needing to consult a Mayan Ophthalmologist15.
Maybe Aya gave them some when she was dispensing some faceless justice. LexNoFaceJuris16
This is probably our max
Fun fact. Animal behaviour changes during a full eclipse. Cows get disorientated and lay down. This is a good time to try to tip them or to try to ride them17.
We camped out for the full eclipse when Idaho was in the path of totality. We watched the full eclipse in 2017 in a town called Weiser, ID. We camped at a farm and the cows did behave very strangely. It was an amazing time and memory, but we did not ride them.
This eclipse will pass. But are hearts will forever love and forever be broken18.
Big hair and big wisdom19
Almost scooting by now. Will see how the time lapse worked out. It felt like serendipity at the time, but there was a telescope sales/astrophotographer at the "ring of fire" annular eclipse that we went to in Nevada20.
I know Maisa would love watching the eclipse and photographing it. Maisa had such a deep and loving sense of humor. For me, finding any humor is honestly really hard right now, but I know that life needs to have all the emotions and all the feels. So this post was my cheesy attempt21.
Oh, and here is the full timelapse from our little spot on the rock known as Earth. Watching one celestial body cross another, and all the while wishing that another celestial body was with us to share the moment with.
I will begrudgingly refer to Maisa in the past tense, though I am sure at times that it should also be present tense. The rules for space/time are just different and time is a social construct.
I was told to quit monologuing again. Maisa tells me that alot. This will happen again.
This is from a song. This was in the 1980’s when we had musical television. This is funny because there was a black spot on the sun that day.
This is sorta from yoga. Maisa loved making fun of yoga almost as much space. An eclipse puts us in the shadow, and removes our own shadow.
This is not the most embarrassing joke.
This is a Bonnie Tyler song. Bonnie Tyler was a more popular Kate Bush. She sang pretty songs.
This is a pacman joke. In the late 1900’s there was an unhealthy addiction to video games like Pacman. It even had a song called Pacman Fever. The ghost was from the game and the sun looks a bit like Pacman, or perhaps Ms. Pacman. Gender identity of Packpeople has come along way.
This is truly embarrassing. I only include it to see if anyone actually reads this far.
I think somewhere between 8 out of 10 eye doctors agree with this.
This is a comment on patience. I was becoming impatient. I know many really patient ADHD people. But some are not so patient.
This is a clumsy and inappropriately hip attempt to blatantly use the word yeet. But the sun would have a few moments of being in a blindspot, if it were a being with consciousness and you needed to throw something into the sun without it being aware of it.
If you don’t think this is funny, you would be correct.
I think this is a varicella-zoster virus reference. But I don’t think people cuddle chickens anymore.
David Koresh was a cult/religious leader. He had weird and toxic beliefs. He was apparently ahead of his time.
This is self explanatory. If it isn’t, then use your call a friend.
This is from Game of Thrones. If I explain the joke I might get sued for copyright, which would distract George Martin. And he doesn’t need distractions.
This is actually pretty good advice.
This is true.
This is cover art for compact disks. It is obsolete technology from the late 1900’s.
The astrophotogher is named Brian. He has some amazing space photos. Check them out! He also has an amazing video of the full eclipse. Watching his video rather than reading this post would have been a better use of your time. The lesson is, always read the footnotes.
Fin.